Video Games and Relationships

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Hi everyone!  This week I wanted to talk about video gaming and relationships.  I know that there is a stigma about video gaming, the development of children, or significant others playing video games A LOT (like almost every day) but, I think there shouldn’t be a stigma or a stereotype about playing games.  We have to admit that all of us play games at some point in our lives whether it be role playing (D&D), board games, computer games, and yes, even video games.  Here is my reason why video games are not bad for any relationship…

I have a husband that loves video games and he has loved them throughout our lives being together.  Now, it does suck sometimes because you do get lonely sitting on the sidelines watching them play games.  I have to remember that sometimes you do need a break from reality and my ‘me time’ (which is taking a hot bath watching anime) may not be his ‘me time’.  His time is to sit down and play games.

I will admit though that I used to play too (like a lot).  My choice of video games were Nintendo and Playstation, while my husband’s was Xbox.  I used to play games such as Mario, Mario Kart, Pokemon, and Kingdom Hearts.  However, I grew out of them when I got busy with Theatre, Choir, and Dance just because there was hardly any time to play.  Though, in high school, I met my husband who dragged me back into the video gaming world.

There would be times where I would watch him play and times where he watched me play.  In the beginning, I had no qualms about sitting there and watching him play because I knew that he liked it and I was his girlfriend then, so I wanted it to look like that I had no problems with it (Sorry honey…I love ya though) 😉  Fast forward to now with us having gone through college, got married, and had a baby.  When we first had our daughter, that did not deter him from playing video games.  When he wanted to take care of the baby, he would sit her on his lap and let her play with him.  Yes, it was very cute, but I did get a little jealous because, as we joke ALL the time, there was no ‘us time’ anymore.

However, as our daughter got older, we were getting back to where we could sit down and just be together in the moment without any distractions.  Since we were first time parents, this took a little practice and experiments to get to this point.  We made it happen and now we watch people playing video games or watch each other playing video games.  It really brings back memories of us being together for the first time and it’s nice.

Our daughter, however, is her father’s child.  She loves everything he likes such as scary movies (which I hate), Dinosaurs (which I like also), and loves to mess with mommy (which I dislike).  These are the times that I think that these are their daddy/daughter bonding time.  I mean, I have sweet memories of me and my dad where we would both wake up every Saturday morning watching cartoons.  My dad didn’t have to watch them with me, but he did and he enjoyed them as much as I did.  Even to this day, I cherish those memories and I know that one day our daughter will look back and love that she had that time with her dad.

However, I always hear from other parents that if you let your child sit in front of the tv or watch video games all the time, then they will get this false sense of reality or they will get epilepsy or, even worse, they would not be able to make friends because they wouldn’t know how to be social.  So, I asked her pediatrician about it and he told me that she can’t get any of those things unless it’s like 24/7 that she watches or plays.  That made me feel good, but at the same time I was a new and young mom at that moment, so that mom guilt was there and it was consuming me.  After these past few years, I have seen that video games could actually benefit children, you just have to get into their world to see what they like.  For example, when I started homeschooling my daughter and she wanted to play with my Nintendo 3DS, she was really into Team Umizoomi (at that time), so I looked up any video games and I found this:

This video game was such a good buy because it taught my daughter problem solving skills, teamwork, math, etc.  And, she loved it too!

So, for me, it wasn’t just about video games and negativity, but I was thinking about the positives of gaming.  I found out that there are ways to help your children or help your relationship through gaming, but it just takes time to figure out what works best.  For example…

  1. Find a game that can be played by 2 or more players.  Depending on which game you buy, but there are plenty of games for both you and your child or you and your significant other that you can play.  Nothing can break a bond when there is teamwork involved.  This can also be a good time to really enhance those listening, communication, and problem solving skills.
  2. You don’t have to sit quietly on the sidelines.  If you see your loved one playing a game that you have maybe already played, then give them some feedback.  Help them out.  I used to be embarrassed asking for help, but not anymore.  Plus, my husband is playing his first run through of Kingdom Hearts and I try my best to help him out when I can.
  3. Have a good time whether you win or lose.  I really struggle with this one, but winning or losing is sometimes never the priority.  Especially, when you and your significant other want some ‘us time’.  Whenever you are together, you are just happy to be there with each other right??  Well, if you do decide to play a game, then don’t make it a priority to win.  Just have fun with it!

I can sit here all day talking about relationships and gaming, but I am not.  I just don’t believe that gaming is as bad a thing that people make it out to be.  I have seen for myself that gaming is a good hobby and it can have a positive effect on any relationship whether that be husband/wife, parent/child, etc.  Plus, you can gain memories that you will cherish and hold on to for forever.  If you play games, hats off to you and keep playing!  Let us all be our nerd selves and let it be!

I hope you enjoyed reading and as always, be a friend and subscribe, share, follow, or comment on what games you enjoy.  Have a great weekend and I will see you in the next post!

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Featured In: Mom Life | Tips, Nerd Mom Life, Personal | June 8, 2018
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Tia || Filtercrave
5 years ago

Omg, I love playing video games with my boyfriend. Especially, fighting games. We both also just got our own gaming laptops, so we’re gonna try doing more PC games together. Also, is it weird that I enjoy watching my bf play video games? Like, I’m literally watching him play Breathe of the Wild as I’m typing this comment lol.

5 years ago

This is my husband and I too! We both love to game. And often we bond while playing video games. I don’t talk about it too much with other people because they automatically think my husband is a “man- child” and that I’m lazy because we play video games. But with three children running around, two under two, I don’t get a chance to be lazy! I’m glad we aren’t the only couple like this. Good post!

5 years ago

I LOVE video games! In fact, I love them so much I work as a video game developer! (I’ve been 8 years in the game developing biz!) I used to play games with my parents when I was little (like Mario Bros in the first Nintendo!) and it was great bonding time! I now use video games to bond with my 2-year-old, as well. He only gets 30 minutes of screen time per week, but we use them to bond! I agree with what you said, it’s all about how you play games, and the culture that you build around… Read more »

5 years ago

A friend got me hooked on Super Mario 3 for NES years ago, which led to getting an N64, to a Gamecube. My daughter played Animal Crossing for years and then we both got into Resident Evil after seeing the first movie. I believe she was about 8 at the time. Her first experience with gaming was a PC game related to the Little Mermaid 2 movie “Return to the Sea”, and was just a series of puzzles to solve. We bought an Xbox 360 just so we could play Resident Evil 5 lol. Now she is 21 and addicted… Read more »